Speech

3-1 Connect with Storytelling

This project addresses storytelling techniques and descriptive skills to help make every speech relatable and interesting.

Purpose: The purpose of this project is to practice using a story within a speech or giving a speech that is a story.

Overview: Choose an established story, a story about your life, or a fictional tale of your own creation. Deliver the 5- to 7-minute speech at a club meeting.

Speech timings: 5:00, 6:00, 7:00

Script

Techno is being played at full blast, there is alcohol, drugs and pink elephants. This is Berghain! Yes, the world-renowned German temple of crappy music. Party-goers have come from all over the world to experience this epic Berlin nightlife. And there is one special guest, in particular, that has come a long way…from a far away land. He wears an iron clad suit, with a sword, crossbow and dagger. His helmet shields him from the drinks flying in his face.

To the average Berghain visitor, he just seems like your next sexual fantasy, but do not be fooled. This nobleman, this knight, is King Arthur himself. King Arthur, undisputed King of the Britons, who has led its Kingdom to victory against the Barbarian invasion in the North and expelled the Roman legions in the South. He, accompanied with his loyal Knight, Lancelot of the Lake, are on a mission to find the ultimate prize, that will bring them closer to God almighty: the Holy Grail. It is said to hold the blood of Jesus Christ himself. However, nobody knows what it looks like: is it a wine cup, a tea mug or a cereal bowl who knows.

“Sire, Sire, what is this place, this doesn’t look anything like where Mr. Christ would go, are we sure we were meant to be sent here?” “Lancelot, we must trust Merlin, our wise druid, he holds many wisdoms and he has sent us here for a reason. Now relax Lancelot, let us ask the joyous Innkeeper where we might find this Holy Grail.”

“The Holy Grail, the hell is that? What did you guys take? Anyhow, I think I know exactly what you might need, you should go and get an epic Döner Kebab, just around the corner!” Arthur looks puzzled, Lancelot disapproves, “A Döner Kebab, that doesn’t sound very Christian to me” “Oh don’t make this face Lancelot we are going at once to the distinguished establishment that is the Döner Kebab”. Arthur thanks the innkeeper, also known as the DJ, and throws a few copper coins in his face. The DJ sends them right back into Lancelot’s face, who is close to cutting the DJ’s head off.

They walk towards the Döner Kebab, “Sire, This place sounds oddly Saxon, I don’t trust these people, I’m sure Merlin has sent us to the wrong place. I will be on my guard” “Lancelot, do not let your emotions take over you, feel the force within you.” Arthur says as he channels his inner Obi-Wan Kenobi. But before Arthur could finish his sentence, Lancelot runs ahead and pounces on the poor Kebab shop owner: “An Ottoman, Sire, an Ottoman, I knew it, this place is full of enemies and non-believers, how shall I finish him Sire?” “I can pierce him just as he pierces this piece of factory-processed meat, or I could slow cook him just like these shish kebab skewers, or I can grind him just as he grinds these chickpeas into delicious hummus, either way he will be dead in an instant!”. “Put him down Lancelot, he is just a modest Döner Kebab maker, Ottoman or not, we shall not kill innocents. This man might hold the key to the Holy Grail”

After the usual small talk of “Soss? Alles salat?”, the Ottoman makes sure to put an extra Halloumi for his benevolent guests. He also tells them to go to Tiergarten, it may hold some magical properties he claims. Lancelot, unconvinced, is dragged by King Arthur, who likes the sound of a magical forest, it reminds him of home. Having lost their horse in the Berghain frenzy, they must walk. As they walk around Tiergarten, the birds chirping are quickly overshadowed by the sound of heavy German boots, they are out of luck. The Ordnungsamt decided to make a surprise patrol this Sunday morning at 4am, who would’ve guessed it?

“Do you have a permit to stroll in Tiergarten on Sunday morning?” asks the Ordnungsamt “A permit? I am King Arthur, King of the Britons, I have defeated the Barbarian invasion and expelled the Roman legions, who are you to ask me for my permit?” Arthur cannot contain his rage and chops both heads of the Ordnungsamt. “When my pride is at stake, violence is necessary… write that down, for my autobiography, Lancelot”. “Yes, Sire, that was an epic quote, it’s just a flesh wound anyways.”

As they search the Ordnungsamt’s pockets, they find a wrongly filled-in Anmeldung form. “Could this be a clue? The limited Saxon I took at school tells me there is a mention of a Church tax on this form. Let us follow this lead” “Sire, Sire, it mentions somewhere in this scroll that this Church Tax is being sent to this mysterious address: “The Reichstag, Platz der Republik einz” with a footnote “the one next to the washing machine”. “This is definitely a cryptic message, let us pray to God that he will enable us to find the way to this washing machine. They kneel down, bow their heads and pray, oblivious to the cyclist yelling “get out of the bike lane you clowns!”

As they walk out of Tiergarten, rejuvenated, they see hordes of peasants walking towards a tall stone building. Arthur and Lancelot join them, in Brittany, when hordes of peasants gather it is usually to see a public execution, and Lancelot loves those. As they arrive, they see this black-red-yellow flag. They realise they are indeed in enemy land.

A dreadlocked Berlin hipster is wearing Birkenstock with socks which were last washed before covid, King Arthur cannot help to think that fashion has gone downhill since the Celts. “Peasant, tell me what is going on here, who will be executed?” The Berliner reluctantly explains: “We are fighting for democracy, we are sick of rich bureaucrats ruling over us, taxing us so much, and providing inadequate public service, these politicians are giving power to multinational corporations and funding useless tech delivery startups!” Our mediaeval friends do not understand every word, as most of them have not yet been invented in the 6th Century, but they do get the jist, this is not a place for them.

“This witchcraft has gone too far, Lancelot, we must leave, these woke people are out of their minds. This society is decadent and we will very quickly be found out. Let us drink Merlin’s potion again to go back to our cherished Camelot.” “Sire, I am afraid I have taken a liking to this place. The Döner Kebabs are delicious, better than roast boar, the bandits in the park are easy to kill, and these peasants do not smell that bad. I want to stay here, I heard they make great falafels down in Kreuzberg and accept homosexuality. This might not be as bad of a place as you think. We haven’t found the Holy Grail but I am convinced I have found my epic home, Toddaloo Sire, let us meet in Heaven, I promise I will find the Holy Grail here!”

Dessert

“strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”