Speech

3-2 Make Connections Through Networking

This project focuses on how to network effectively and understanding the importance of being a professional ally to people in your network.

Purpose: The purpose of this project is to develop and practice a personal strategy for building connections through networking.

Overview: Prepare for and attend a networking event. After the event, present a 5- to 7-minute speech to your club. Your speech can include a story or stories about your experience, a description of what you learned, or a discussion on the benefits of networking. Your speech may be personal to you or informational about networking. If you attend a non-Toastmasters event, you must sign the Project Completion Form and give it to your vice president education.

Speech timings: 5:00, 6:00, 7:00

Script

Berlin changes people. Some start to become annoyingly on time, others relish in German bureaucracy, some pretend to love techno, others become bike-riding jerks. None of those have yet trickled down to me. However, one thing that Berlin and its immense peer pressure has done to me is that I’ve been forced to pierce my ears.

I was pretty excited by this piercing, but nobody around me batted an eyelid. It seemed pretty standard, even a bit too mainstream; After all, I hadn’t gotten a Prince Albert piercing nor tattooed my Steuernummer on my chest. Anyways, I loved it. Finally, I felt I was fitting in Berlin, making my sexual identity ambiguous and accessorizing my body for the party creds.

I strategically pierced my ears a week before coming back to my parents for the Christmas holidays. After not seeing them for half a year, I wanted to surprise them and check if their hearts were still in good condition.

My earrings were a shock, a huge shock. My idea of my parents being chill, tolerant, and understanding got crushed instantly. Harder than how cocaine gets crushed in the toilets of a Berlin club. This was the biggest shock since I told my Swiss family I was lactose intolerant, thankfully I’ve recovered.

When they first realized, when greeting me at the train station, they had a mix of anger, sadness, and disappointment. You see, compared to my twin brother, I was always the more responsible and less reckless of the two. With these earrings on their poster child, everything they thought they knew about the world was called into question. This was like in the TV series Friends, Phoebe’s boyfriends realize she has an identical twin sister and doesn’t know which one they’re really dating. The first thought that went through their mind, I could see it working in their head was: “How can we legally disown Thomas and give it to his reckless brother instead?”

At home the interrogation started. Both my parents didn’t understand the utility of having earrings as a guy. You go to the gym but wear earrings? That’s so contradictory, you’re sending mixed signals! I didn’t dare remind them of the most prominent sex symbol of the past century, a really muscular guy full of jewelry that even shared my nickname: Mr. T!

My dad was especially concerned about my future career prospects. “you’ll never get a job again if you wear those earrings at an interview!” I tried to explain to him that our generation didn’t want to work for people who judged you on having earrings, above qualifications, abilities, and personality. He dismissed me as naïve and idealistic… I liked that categorization.

My mom didn’t care as much about my career; she just wanted me to find love, cute! Or, if not love, at least a no-trouble, typical, proper wife. And this is why she was so distraught; her opinion was clear: it was ugly, didn’t fit me, made me look like a girl, and I was not a man for her anymore. She said she would never date, let alone marry, a man with earrings. I thought to myself, thank God I wasn’t trying to date, or marry, my mom!

Thankfully, I didn’t show them my rings, my nail polish, my kinky outfits, or my gay friends. I was already putting my inheritance at risk; I didn’t want to get charged with manslaughter just yet.

Compared to my parent’s overreaction, the rest of the family could not be any more chill. My brother, a Trump-loving real estate broker by day and a Californian weed-smoking hippie by night, supported my experimentation. Still, he was not going to get his feet too wet, either. He was still banking on getting some inheritance in case Trump gets re-elected, and he gets deported from the US. So, he just opened a pack of popcorn and enjoyed the holiday season, reality TV entertainment unfolding in front of his eyes.

His girlfriend, visiting, was also cautious. She was clearly on my side, but was it worth risking her in-law’s approval rating? Of course not, she was weak! She ended up being very diplomatic and mostly just stole some popcorn from my brother’s bowl.

After this initial, painful interrogation, the rest of the holidays were pestered with uncomfortable questions about my coming out, whether I would expatriate myself to Thailand to become a diving instructor or start a boutique specialty coffee roaster in Kreuzberg. As you see, yes, my parents are very shallow.

While I was having fun writing this speech, I nearly forgot about my assignment today, which had something to do with networking. Contrary to what you might be thinking, we aren’t that far from it. Networking is all about creating connections with people. Not to get a referral for an interview, get their business card, or sell them something. That’s just what those irritating LinkedIn influencers want you to believe.

It’s actually about creating those natural, human and personal connections by being yourself. And that’s what my parents don’t understand. I don’t want to be projecting something that is not me! If myself, right now, has earrings, so be it! If tomorrow, I have dreadlocks, who cares! If next year I identify as a raccoon, all power to me! As long as I have the ability to do a job well, am fun to be around with, and have sound morals.

Being your authentic, friendly self is a great way to self-select out the people you want to spend time with, work for, sell your product to and employ! I know that I won’t be employed by my dad or date my mom, and I’m pleased about that! What I’m less happy about is losing my inheritance.